We all like a good laugh. There’s just nothing better and in business having a sense of humour (and not taking yourself too seriously) is an important part of interacting with others and building relationships. I’ve talked before about rapport and the importance of finding a common level with people. Humour is an invaluable tool.

Why do we hold back?

I’m not sure about the whole ‘we’re reserved, we’re British’ thing. Some of the most talented comedians in the world are British and in recent years our consumption of comedy has increased dramatically. Comedians, who were once relegated to a stage and a mic, are now presenting TV shows, reaping it in at comedy clubs or dominating YouTube and Facebook. But while we’re happy to tune in for a quick laughter fix, humour at work is still a touchy subject. With the exception of the uber-confident, humour causes most of us to question ourselves and our effect on others. What if they don’t find it funny, what if they don’t get it, what if its too personal/controversial/weird? Is that why we hold back? Maybe we’re afraid of putting ourselves in the spotlight and potentially failing to entertain, of experiencing that cringe moment when your best quip suddenly feels more wet than wit. And we’ve all been there.

So, is it a double-edged sword?

On the one hand, shared humour can create feelings of collaboration and inclusiveness, a sense of being in ‘the gang’. While conversely, if you’re in the same group and not involved in the joke, you might experience feelings of exclusion and collusion. Maybe an awareness of social correctness makes us more inhibited.
But like many of you reading this, in my life I’ve spent many hours, days (possibly weeks, but more likely months) sat in meetings and I think it’s all about simply being comfortable with who you are. The honesty and openness of just being yourself is enough and humour comes from being relaxed, with others and with yourself. We’ve all met the joker who’s trying too hard or trying to impress with some clever comment. It’s usually an easy cover for insecurity which is why it jars with everyone in the room. It just doesn’t feel genuine.

Why is laughter such a tonic?

We need laughter in business; genuinely need it. Laughter is nature’s stress reliver. It causes a decrease in stress hormones and triggers the release of endorphins – nature’s very own feel good chemicals. In business we make big decisions, have the pressure of responsibility, the stress of keeping people in jobs and of fulfilling our own ambitions. While we’re focused on the serious stuff it’s easy to forget that we’re supposed to be enjoying what we do, that it’s ok to have a laugh. We’re here to enjoy life.

I have a benchmark; If someone can have a laugh with me I know we’re getting along. There’s no greater indicator of being on someone’s level than when they feel it’s ok to let go. It’s a huge compliment in my opinion, as long as it’s emotionally mature and respectful fun-making of course. I also know that I can laugh at myself too. If you take yourself too seriously then you’re setting yourself up for disaster. The greatest leaders in business use humour to connect with others, especially soft, self-deprecating humour. Steve Jobs was known for his witty conference speeches and even Barak Obama threw in the occasional one-liner. Humour creates trust, it’s memorable and it’s infectious. It makes a leader more approachable and it can diffuse tension in difficult situations.

Ultimately, it’s about balance. If life has become too serious with no relief from the grind then that’s an imbalance which can affect your mood, your relationships and your health. Its not always easy to battle your way out of a shitstorm, but a five-minute chat with someone who can see the sunnier side of the tempest can give you renewed energy and a new perspective. I have a handful of numbers of people close to me who I know I can call on, who I know can at the very least make me smile, but will most likely have me laughing again.

In The Business Buyers Club we cover some serious subjects from negotiating a complex deal to understanding the finer detail of due diligence. I can honestly say though, that throughout all of our groups and at all of our meetings we are always mindful of finding humour in what we do. Life is to be enjoyed and even though I’ve been through some grim times, I still have a smile on my face. Most of the time …

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